Stand up guy

brew the coffee in a bucket
double straight man and banjo
if you donít got the snake oil
buster, you donít got a show
who puts the doh-re-me
in our pockets
keeps the party going on?
itís the man
who sells the potions
iím just one who plays the songs
now they generally buys
the bigger size
they usually rub it in
i drank it once, it tasted
like grease and paraffin
itís mostly alcohol, okay
you canít deny itís strong
we was going through the motions
Ďtil the doctor came along

there stands the bottle
ladies and gentlemen
all these bottles
donít have to tell you, friends
these days miracles
donít come falling from the sky
raise your glasses to the doctor
to a stand up guy

when the monkeyshine is flying
and heís promising the cure
he says the french
for your lovesick blues
la maladie díamour
he gets the chumps all laughing
but he gets a few to buy
hereís to beefsteak
when youíre hungry
and whiskey when youíre dry
now the bandíll blow their moolah
like sailors gone ashore
now weíre going to west helena
to gamble, drink and whore
letís you and me
all make whoopee
hereís mud in your eye
hereís to all the gals you ever want
and heaven when you die

there stands the bottle
ladies and gentlemen
all these bottles
donít have to tell you, friends
these days miracles
donít come falling from the sky
raise your glasses to the doctor
to a stand up guy

thereís a big cheese with a cigar
been sizing up the show
he wants to get the doctor
pitching on the radio
i will make a switch to guitar
but the rules all still apply
they want to trust somebody
yeah, they want a stand up guy

there stands the bottle
hereís to absent friends
all these bottles
dead soldiers in the end
these days miracles
donít come falling from the sky
raise your glasses to the doctor
to a stand up guy
to the doctor
a stand up guy